PART 3: My 2009 Year In Review--Of Life, Love and Dimples Romana

Blogged on My Multiply dated December 22, 2009


I value my friends. So much sometimes that I tend to become really possessive of them. You'd surely see an eyebrow raise if you tell me that you're going out with some other friend instead of me. Since I'm not in a romantic relationship, my friends are the ones who help me reach orgasm. No, not that kind--a different high. They are the people I look forward to seeing everyday in school. Of course I don't go there to learn. Who does anyway? Ha!


I have two sets of friends today in college. My block friends and my dorm friends. They are two different group of people that I know would somehow clash if placed in a room together. Something I discovered about myself this year is that I can adapt into any kind of human behavior. I realized that I am good with people. I used to think that I was an introvert. But looking at most of my pictures in Facebook I saw that I was always with another person/s, no solo shots except for profile pics which were actually cropped from group pics. So go figure.


I love both sets of friends. I feel comfortable around them and I am always assured that they would not turn their backs on me even if I do foolish things. When I was in elementary, my cousin would always tease me that my only friend was the librarian in school. It was true, I guess. Nerdy me way back when would seclude himself from his classmates and read books at the far corner of the library. I'm not sure how I progressed socially but I'm very glad I got over that stage. I still bury myself in books, though.


I love being a friend to somebody. I can finally relate to every character Dimples Romana has played in her entire career--always the bestfriend, never the bida. She's like Nikki Valdez to Claudine Barretto or Dominic Ochoa to Rico Yan. But Dimples, she never chose her co-actors. She can play the bestfriend of anybody, the supportive confidante of the miserable protagonist. It is very unfortunate because she's a really good actress.


I just added that paragraph to justify my title. Sorry. Anyway, this year I lost a friend. No, the friend didn't die. The relationship did. I can safely say that now because I cannot imagine what it would be like if we were friends again. "The friend" was someone I considered my bestfriend. We were always together in school and people always asked me why the other was not around and vise-versa. And yet somehow, friendships are not perfect. There are troubles that come your way and you hope that you will resolve everything when the time comes. The problem with this relationship is that the time never came. Yes, we still talk. But not like we used to anymore. You can say that we're civil--occasional hi's and hello's.


I easily trust people. I hate that about myself. I never doubt a person's kindness, even at first meeting. I always see the good in people (or maybe i just blind myself from seeing the ugly) and I believe that no person is pure evil. Um, maybe Ampatuan. But then, once you break that trust, you will never get it back. That's for sure. In my mind, you will always be that person who did me wrong. Yes we can still talk but we will never be like we used to.


Thus, there are only a few people I really consider my friends. Others are mere acquaintances. People fail me most of the time and they never live up to what I consider a friend. As I've written in the previous entry, I set a high standard for myself...and for other people.


I am a good friend, only if you are. It's always a two-way relationship.


Tell me, who wants a friend who talks endlessly and yet never listens to any of your shit? I say, fuck you self-absorbed bitch!