the man in me

There a lot of things that I do which make me still a guy. Don’t get me wrong, I know who I am and I am not trying to be someone else. It’s just that there are still qualities that I have which I consider manly. Though I have to warn you first, I am NOT claiming that these qualities apply to all men. Most of them do, anyway.


I am still a guy because…I hate shopping for clothes. There is something with a room full of clothes that makes me nauseous. Hindi ko talaga matiis ang mga damit. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kaya bago pa lang ako bumili ng damit, alam ko na kung ano bibilhin ko, kung saan at kung magkano para pagdating ko doon, isusukat ko nalang at babayaran. Kapag pumupunta ako ng mall kasama ang mga ate ko, humihiwalay ako sa kanila dahil alam kong sa mga damit sila pupunta. Either tatambay nalang ako sa bookstore or sa starbucks habang hinihintay ko sila matapos. Hindi naman kasi ako maporma; t-shirt, jeans at tsinelas, okay na ko. Again as I have stated, this quality doesn’t apply to all men. Sa dinami-dami ba namang mga metrosexual ngayon, hindi na bago ang mapormang lalake. Kung minsan pa nga, sila pa ang mas matagal mag-shopping kaysa sa mga girls.


I am still a guy because…I respect women a lot. Maybe it’s because I have lived my whole life with women around me. Since seaman ang papa ko, ang kasama ko lang sa bahay ay si mama, ang tatlo kong ate, ang pamangkin ko na babae din, ang pinsan kong babae, at ang katulong namin na malamang ay babae din. Well, yun ang sinabi nya samin. Haha! Anyway, I love women. Most of my friends are women. I respect them so much kaya hindi ko sila matingnan in a sexual way. Hindi talaga pwede.


I am still a guy because…I rarely cry. Hindi talaga ako emotional na tao. Siguro mga twice a year lang ako umiiyak. I never cry even if I watch sad and heartbreaking movies. Siguro huli kong iniyakan ay “A Walk To Remember”. I always feel sad pero talagang walang luhang tumutulo. Kadalasan, naiipon lang sila sa mata pero hindi talaga tumutulo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kapag naawa ako sa isang tao, sasabihin ko lang “kakawa naman siya” or kung may nangyaring malungkot, sasabihin ko “ay, ang sad naman nun”. Wala talagang luha. Kahit lagyan ko pa ng vicks yan, wa epek!


I am still a guy because…I find girl-on-girl action hot. This may be contradictory to the whole “respect women” thing. But still, I really can’t help it when I see two girls kiss. There’s something sexy about it.


I am still a guy because…burara akong tao. Kung nakita niyo lang ang bag ko, parang second branch ng payatas. Ako ang nag-franchise. Minsan nga takot na kong buksan ang bag ko kasi baka bigla akong may makitang ipis. Magulo talaga ako sa gamit. Kapag dumating ako sa bahay, maghuhubad ako at iniiwan ko lang ang mga damit sa lapag kaya lagi ako napapagalitan ng mama ko. Ito rin ang dahilan kaya madalas akong mawalan ng gamit. Laging nami-misplaced.


I am still a guy because…I have a very bad handwriting. I always convince myself that it is because I am left-handed. Pero sa tingin ko hindi talaga iyon ang dahilan. Pangit lang talaga ang sulat ko. Kung minsan pa nga kapag tinitingnan ko ang notes ko, hindi ko parin mismo maintindihan ang mga pinagsusulat ko.


I am still a guy because…I don’t get scared watching horror movies. Maybe because most of them are outrageously unbelievable to the point of being hilarious, kaya natatawa lang ako. Lalong-lalo na kung si Kris Aquino ang bida. (Favorite comedy show ko nga ang Patayin Sa Sindak Si Barbara. Parang laging constipated si Kris. Kung ano ang acting niya sa Pido Dida, ganun parin hanggang ngayon.) Kung minsan pa nga, mag-isa lang ako manood ng horror movies at mahimbing na mahimbing parin ang tulog ko kapag gabi na.


I am still a guy because…I watch porn. Enough said. Ahahahahahahaha!



Random Notes:

*Heath Ledger is dead. Um, no comment. Di kami close.
*Kat and I watched P.S. I Love You. It’s so nice. Nakakaiyak pero walang luhang lumabas. Ganun talaga!
*I am close to finishing Love in the Time of Cholera. Finally!
*My sister is pregnant. I’m going to be an uncle for the second time. Loves it!
*Thanks for those who gave comments dito sa blog kahit alam kong napilitan lang kayo dahil paulit-ulit ko kayong kinukulit.
*As of today, I got 485 hits from 232 different people. Yey! 400 of those hits are from me. Ahahahaha!
*Para dun sa mga nag-view na taga-US: Hey y’all! Yung dalawang taga-Japan: Chukchakchenes! Yung isang taga-Bahrain: Salamalaykum Malaykumsala. Huh? At para dun sa isang taga-India: kausapin mo nalang si Farshid Rastegar. Ay, taga-Iran pala yun! Sorry.

the resolutions

It’s the second week of January. It’s a bit late to list my New Year’s Resolutions but I’m doing it anyway. I know a lot of people don’t do resolutions anymore because most of the time, they never come true. In my case though, I love having resolutions. It just means that I want to become a better person every year or at least try to become a better person. Plus, it’s fun. Wala nang pakialamanan!


10. Take my studies lightly.

People always have the opposite resolution, that they will try to study harder and get higher grades than before. Pero baliko talaga ako mag-isip. It’s not that I don’t value education. I do. It’s just that I don’t want it be the focus of my life because I believe that real life lessons are learned outside the four walls of a classroom. I always look forward to going to school just to see my friends. I also go to school to get a diploma and apply for a job. Don’t get me wrong, though. I love to learn new things. I love learning but I hate studying (Natalie Portman-ism). Haha! Good thing that my parents never pressured me to get high grades. As long as I pass, they’re okay. That’s the same from me. Basta huwag lang ako babagsak. I’m still a little scared with my Philo, Biology and English grades.

9. Continue my no-rice diet and my exercise routine.

I never weighed myself because I never really cared. But then again, when I learned that I reached 200 lbs. when I was 15, I knew I had to do something. I started working out. I did everything from MTV Grind to Cardio Kung Fu, to Yoga and Pilates and now, Hip-hop Abs. They seem to work with me. I like to do different stuffs because I get bored easily. When it comes to my diet, I started eating meals with no rice by March of 2006. It will be my 2nd year in two months. Yey! 135-140lbs. na ata ako ngaun. So I guess everything worked. 65lbs. is very hard to lose.

8. Be patient.

This is one flaw that I can really admit about myself. I hate waiting for people. This is the reason why most of the time, I’m always the one who’s late. Mas gusto kong ako ang hinihintay kaysa ako yung naghihintay. Maikli talaga pasensya ko. Sorry lang. Another instance is when I wait for things to come or to happen. I have always wished that Marco would come already because I’m tired of waiting for him. Who is Marco? He is what I call my future someone. Pinangalanan ko siya kasi wala akong magawa sa buhay ko. Again, walang pakialamanan! Haha! I really like the name Marco for a guy. I guess he will come when the time is right. I remember what my 4th year Physics teacher said, “I believe that there is that one person destined for you, given to you by God. Pray for him/her (in my case, him *hihi*) even if you haven’t met each other. Ask God to bless him already, make him well, make him a better person, make him learn from his mistakes, make him a good person, make him the man you’ve always wanted so that when the right time comes that you two meet, both of you are already prepared to build a relationship based on love and centered on God”. Lagi ko na siyang pinagdadasal from then on. Nice, nice!

7. Avoid cracking offensive jokes.

Minsan hindi ko talaga napapansin na nakakasakit na pala ako sa mga jokes ko. Sorry. There is an exception to this resolution and that is when it comes to professors, it is okay to joke offensively. Sky’s the limit. *evil laugh*.

6.Read a book at least once a month

I am not a voracious reader. Uy, naka synonym yan. Haha! I started to read novels when I was 12. I read the Harry Potter books, Nicholas Sparks, Paulo Coelho, Amy Tan, Lualhati Bautista (represent!), Helen Fielding, Alice Walker, and my collection of gay books. I would always write the date when I bought the book on the first page while the date when I finished reading it on the last page. I do that because it always seems like an adventure when I read books and every now and then, I look back on the pages and know when I had taken that journey with the characters. I also have this habit of underlining phrases and sentences that strike me the most. I like reading them all again and reflect the lessons I’ve learned from the book.

5. Be a good friend.

I love my friends so much and they’re very good to me. I want to pay them all back with same kindness. I will be a good listener. I will try my very best to give the greatest advice in the world. I will always be here. Mahal ko kayo! In line with this, I will also learn how to keep the secrets of my friends. I violated this resolution recently. I promise from now on that I will never ever tell someone’s secret to others. Sobrang nakaka-konsensya!

4. Be selfless.

Meaning, I will not be vain, conceited and self-absorbed. I don’t want to be shallow. Nakakababa yun ng pagkatao.

My mom is a hairdresser and we had our own parlor once. But when my mom got a job at a salon in Alabang, we had to dispose some of the things in our business. Of all the things she should’ve disposed, she kept three of our life-sized mirrors. They’re on three separate corners of our house. Kaya’t bawa’t lingon mo sa bahay ay makikita mo ang iyong sarili. Magiging vain ka talaga kahit ayaw mo. Kaya ngayon, pag nadadaanan ko yung mga salamin, yumuyuko nalang ako. Para akong gago.

I will also try not to be superficial in any way. There’s always more to a person than his looks. Looks fade, ika nga. Substance over form dapat. =) When people ask me what I want in a boyfriend, I always say that he has to be selfless, MAGALING MAGLUTO AT MAG-BAKE (hihi) and he doesn’t have to be good-looking. Okay na kahit cute lang. Ano naman gagawin ko sa gwapo? Magtititigan kami?

3. Be a good son and a good brother.

I love my family. I love my mom. She’s the most generous person I know. Alam niyo bang 300 pesos and baon ko araw-araw? I’m not bragging or anything; it just shows how giving my mother really is. Minsan kahit hindi naman ako humihingi, nagbibigay parin. Kaya minsan nakokonsensya ako. Most of the time, I think that I don’t deserve to be her son. She’s very understanding. Nakiki-ride pa sa mga jokes ko. I also love my three sisters. They are the most fun people in the world. Sobrang bait. Wala kang irereklamo. Kaya kapag kasama ko sila, halatang-halata na ako ang black sheep. Dati yung pangalawa kong ate ang black sheep kasi maaga nabuntis pero ngayon, ako na. Haha!

I’m not close with my father because he’s a seaman. Meaning, we rarely see each other. I will still try to be civil with him and I will do everything he asks me to.

2. Update this blog every Friday.

Pinagkalat ko na sa lahat na may blog ako kaya kailangan ko na talaga magsulat dito. I write my entries before Friday. Like this one, I’m writing it today which is a Wednesday because we have no classes (Nazareno). Then I will post it on Friday. Mas madali kapag ganun eh. By the way, I got 129 hits from 63 hosts since my first post last Friday. Yey!





AND NOW, MY NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION FOR THE YEAR 2008 IS…







1. I will never cut my hair and never shave any facial hair for the whole year.

I really don’t know why I’m doing this or if I can even do it. This is in line with my number four resolution which includes my goal to not be superficial. I shouldn’t care about the way I look. As long as I smell good, I’m okay. I will let every hair grow. I have no idea what I would end up looking like by the end of the year, maybe a modern homo erectus? Mabuhok pa naman ako. Haha! Good luck nalang sakin.



Random Notes:

*I hate the fact that Ruben won in Pinoy Big Brother. I was rooting for Gaby or Will and I wanted Riza to die and burn in hell. Dahil lang mahirap si Ruben kaya siya nanalo. Eh di sana wala nalang sila isaling mayaman. Kainis!
*Prelims next week, hafta study. Grrr!
*I finally watched “Sakal, Sakali, Saklolo” with Kat. The movie was good, even better than the first one. Gina Pareno is one hilarious actress. Ang galing! Kahit wala na si Judy Ann at Ryan sa movie, okay lang. By the way, me likey-likey the guy who played Judy Ann’s brother, AJ Perez. He’s too young, though: 14 years old. Oh no!
*Guys, comment kau! Kahit anonymous users pwede na. harhar!

starting anew.

Finally, may blog narin ako after weeks of telling everyone na magkakaroon ako. By the way, Taglish ako magpo-post ha? I just want the words to come out smoothly na parang ako talaga ang nagsusulat. Kasi minsan feeling ko kapag nag pure English or Filipino ako, parang pilit. I’m not a very good writer. Tama lang. This is like my 5th blog. My first was in tabulas, then two each sa blogger at livejournal. Kumusta naman dabah? Wala talaga akong disiplina magsulat at kadalasan wala naman talaga ako masusulat kasi medyo boring ang life ko. Pero ngayon, I will try my very best to write every Friday para wala naman masyadong pressure kasi kung everyday,baka maubusan ako ng sasabihin. I’m not even sure if anyone would even bother to read what I have to write. Still, I will promise that every entry would be sensical, kaya nga “Jhong’s trying to make sense” ang title ng blog. I just made my url simply jhongvalencia.blogspot.com para hindi ko makalimutan at madaling tandaan. Yeyeyeye!

Before I forget, I would like to thank muchy much Karen Victoriano for my banner. Love you much for taking the time para sa aking kaartehan. Galing mo ever! And to Kat, for fixing everything last night. Maraming Salamat!

So what would I write in this blog? Malamang puro kabaklaan ! Harhar! My posts would range from anything gay, anything books, movies, television shows and broadway. Pero sa totoo lang, gusto ko magsulat about values and life lessons. Syempre without being too preachy. Ayoko naman mag-sermon at hindi rin naman ako nag-fi-feeling na santo. Hindi ako santo. Santa lang. Ngyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Since I’m still not in the mood to write a proper blog, I would just like to share a kwento na nangyare sa akin ngayong Thursday. I was in 2pol2 when I saw a copy of the new issue of the Varsitarian. There was an article about the recently concluded Gawad Ustetika, a writing contest in UST. Sumali ako dito at sa kasamaang palad, natalo ang dalawa kong entry. Nagsulat ako sa category na TULA at KATHA. Nag-expect pa naman ako. Harhar! Well, may next time pa naman. Gusto ko lang i-post yung dalawa sa mga tulang sinulat ko na part ng collection ko na may title na “Aparador” which is obviously about a gay man’s life in and out of the closet. Kahit hindi ito nanalo, sobrang proud parin ako sa gawa ko. Love your own, ika nga.


SA LABAS NG APARADORR

Sabi ko kay nanay, “Bakla ako.”
sampal sa mukha
walang katapusang sermon.

Sabi ko kay tatay, “Bakla ako.”
suntok sa mukha
pasa ang napala.

Sabi ko kay kuya, “Bakla ako.”
pagdura
kandadong pinto.

Sabi ko kay ate, “Bakla ako.”
malakas na halakhak
hahahahaha!

Sabi ko sa mga kaibigan, “Bakla ako.”
pagsira sa tiwala
paglayo.

Sabi ko sa mundo, “Bakla ako.”
pangungutya,
pag-apak sa pagkatao.

Sabi ko sa sarili, “Bakla ako.”
ngiti,
malaya na ako.



NGAYONG GABI NA PUNO NG LIWANAG


tayo ay magsasama
ngayong gabi na puno ng liwanag
babalutin
ang kapaligiran ng katahimikan.
walang hangin ang iikot
maliban sa hininga ng isa’t isa
nakapinid
ang pinto
lalapit ka sa akin
dahan-dahan
nakaharap
kaba’y nararamdaman
maikli lamang
ang distansyang namamagitan
titingin ka sa aking mga mata
hahawakan ang mga kamay
dahan-dahang aakyat
sa aking bisig
sa dibdib
balikat
leeg
mukha
kay lalim ng iyong titig
bihag mo ako
maglalaro ang iyong mga daliri
sa aking labi
lalapit ang iyong mukha
maglalapat ang ating mga bibig
madiin
magdidikit
magsasama
maglalaro
ating mga dila
maghahalo ang laway
sa pagbigat ng hangin
matatanggal ang saplot
sa katawan natin
ihihiga mo ako sa iyong kama
hahaplusin at yayakapin
aangkinin mo ako
ako ay ikaw
ikaw ay ako
tayo ay isa
ngayong gabi na puno ng liwanag



Well, that’s it. Thank you for taking the time to even read this. Sana ay may napulot kayong aral sa aking mga sinulat kahit mukhang wala naman talaga. Magsusulat ako ulit ng bagong entry next week at sana mas makubuluhan iyon kaysa dito. Kahit huwag na kayo mag-comment, okay lang. Ganyan naman kayo eh. Joke. Oi, comment na kayo pleeeeaaaasseeee? =)


Random Notes:

*Bat si Jon ang tinanggal sa pbb?!?!??!?!?! Aaaarrrggghhh! Kill, Riza/Ryza! Di ko alam spelling eh.
*Tapos ko na yung “She’s Come Undone” na book. asteEg, in all fairness to the writer!
*I have to finish “Love in the Time of Cholera” naman.
*I haven’t even read a chapter of the Karunungan. Good Luck sa akin.
*Hindi ko pa napapanood yung “Sakal, Sakali, Saklolo” or any other movies in the filmfest. Kainis!