ricardo joaquin

yep, he's my newborn nephew!!!

Ricardo Joaquin V. Ayson was born on August 24, 2008. Just a day after my birthday. Go Virgo babies!

Haay, ang sarap ng feeling. Pangalawang pamangkin ko na ito. Ang cute talaga ng mga babies. Gusto ko narin. Wala nga lang akong matris. Takte!



He's so chinito. Grabe! May dimples pa si gago. Loves it.

Random Notes:

*Directing children's show. Pressssuuuureee!
*Eyebags galore.
*Pumapayat na ko. I'm loving stress.
*Sleep-deprived. Kasalanan 'to ng mga dormates ko. hehe!
*Qualified for CaTV awards. Go Nikka!
*Saw my cousin crush. Tsk. bad.
*Need new songs for my iPod.

nineteen

Nineteen starts tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel exactly. I guess I’m happy that I’ll be a year older. I have nothing against it unlike other people who complain about getting older. It actually gives me a great feeling. Confidence, I guess. I feel wiser. I feel more mature. I feel experienced. I feel that I can overcome any problems. Shoot.

Whenever my birthday comes, I have this unconscious habit of reflecting what my life has become. Have I learned anything? Have I really been wiser? More mature? Experienced? It’s hard to answer life questions. It’s even more painstakingly difficult to analyze who you are and what you have become. Only the people around you can make you realize that. I know one thing though and that is I know more.

I am babbling, sorry. Words escape me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am scared of what nineteen is going to give me, what experiences I would have at this age and what lessons I would learn along the way. And yet I can’t also wait for nineteen, to give me the excitement I’ve been longing forever, the friendships that would grow even more, and the love that has long been waiting for me at the end of this road.

Ah, to be a teenager! The last chapter in this part of my life.

Here’s to nineteen!

*Will watch Lea Salonga’s Cinderella tomorrow. With Ate Lecky. CCP.
*Will celebrate my birthday on Sunday.
*Papa’s home. He bought me a pair of shades with a built-in mp3 player. Cool subra!
*Chocolates overload. Eeeek! Never had a sweet tooth.
*Currently reading “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey. Addicted! Pun intended for those who know the book.
*Current LSS: Old School Alanis Morissette. “Head Over Feet” is really is it! Ahaha!
*The week of No Classes. Boredom. I’d rather go to class. Weird me.
*Didn’t smoke from Sunday to Wednesday. Nakakagigil!
*New casing for my phone. Yey! 411: I had my phone since I was in 4th year High School. Antique na ‘to sakin. Attached na ko. Hehe!
*With Shandy last Wednesday. Saya!

plastic

Photo Taken By: Kristine Talusan
Courtesy of: Adrian Pacific Ong
Models: Adrian Pacific Ong and Frances Ogilvie

I’ve been plastic all my life. I’m not a bad person. I’m not mean. I’m just plain plastic. It’s necessary. If I weren’t plastic I probably would’ve been dead right now because my enemies had already killed me.

You can’t please everybody and people can’t always please you. In life, you encounter people that you just don’t get. You meet people and mingle and yet there’s something about them that you don’t like. What do you do? Be plastic.

You don’t snob them. That’ll just make things worse. You go about living your normal life without getting affected by these people you don’t like. You try to avoid being in their company just so you don’t have to be nice and all. But then eventually, these people would notice that you’re avoiding them and more so you don’t like them. How did they know? You backstabbed them. You told your friends that you hate this certain person. Word gets out and before you know it, everyone knows that you don’t like this certain person. And then, this certain person gives you the “if-you-have-to-say-something-bad-about-me-say-it-to-my-face” speech.

How do you respond to a confrontation like that? I probably would say the same thing that the great comedienne Kathy Griffin once did: “I don’t want to say anything to your face. Where’s the fun in that? I would actually wait after you leave then I’ll talk shit about you with my friends. In that sense, I get to be funnier making fun of you. Plus, there’s no conflict at all.”

I admit that it is wrong to be plastic but sometimes you have no choice but to be one. You want to avoid arguments so you act nice to those people that you don’t really like. It’s actually human nature. We usually hide what we truly feel.

Right now I am plastic to a certain group in my block. They understand each other and I really don’t get them. Whenever I see these people, I usually roll my eyes…in my mind. But when I’m around them I act like most angelic person there is, like I’m one of them.

It’s fun to be plastic. It’s thrilling. It makes living worthwhile. Ha!

Random Notes:

*Don’t ask me about the people I am being plastic to. I will never tell. Ask Pen. Haha!
*It’s my sister’s birthday!
*Prelims week is finally over.
*I was the lowest in the last SocioComm Test. I got 10/50. If I were in High School I probably would have cried about it for days.. But now, I don’t mind at all. I see the clearer picture. I’m aware. I didn’t study so I got a low grade, though I never expected to be the lowest. Haha! Will make bawi next time. Kaya ko ‘to!
*Pimple breakout.
*My birthday’s coming. Will be just another day. Here’s to 19!

confidence

Fake it ‘til you make it

--Pen


Pen was talking about confidence. I haven’t always been confident with the way I look. I used to be overweight and this is what caused my recurring low self-esteem. It’s something that I worked really hard to improve on. I started to work out. I did all kinds of diet and a lot of eating disorders came about. I was okay with it since I shed some wait over the past four years. I haven’t reached my desired weight and lately it has been a yo-yo ride for me looking in the mirror. Sometimes I like what I see but most of the time I don’t. I always ask my friends if I look okay or if the shirt I’m wearing doesn’t make me look fat. It’s already a bad habit.

This entry is not about my weight. What I really want to say is…

How come I had to do all these improvements in myself when there are people who would not even do a thing but still look great?!?!

There are people in this world who are naturally beautiful. I hate to say this but I envy these people. Impokrita na ang magsabi na kuntento na sila sa itsura nila kahit na ang chaka-chaka nila!

The tag line of “Nip/Tuck” comes to mind, “When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead.”

These beautiful people wake up in the morning with their untidy hair and morning glories and can still be in a television commercial as the after shot. Why did God make all these creatures? It still is a mystery to me.

But then again, there are people who are not good looking but still exude that appeal. There is always something that attracts you to them. There’s that instant eye movement magnet that makes you stop and stare. Pen says it is confidence. I guess it’s true. Celine, our lovely dorm mate is not drop-dead gorgeous. She’s okay. But she always exudes this confidence that makes her appealing to men. I guess it’s the way she walks, the way she talks, the way she runs her fingers through her hair, the way she moves her eyes, the way she bites her lips. It’s really interesting…weirdly enough.

Pen advised me to do the same thing. Have that confidence.

But how?!? Fake it ‘til you make it. Act as if you’re confident even if you’re not. Walk as if you feel like everyone’s looking at your beautiful face. Talk as if what you have to say matters.

I will definitely try this one. Will exude appeal eventually. Haha!

But my dear readers, let’s not forget that beauty fades. The important thing is that you’re a good person…………….NOT.

*_____________________________*

I went to Alicia Keys’ concert last Tuesday and as what I expected, it was fun, fun fun! She was almost two hours late but it was well worth it. She gave great performances. I enjoyed “No One” the most. Galeng! “If I Ain’t Got You” was her finale. Goosebumps!

Outside the venue:


Inside (with my sister):


With the friends we met there:


Find the hidden alicia keys:


O eto nalang:

Random Notes:

*It's 08-08-08! End of the world. Chos!
*Went to Cavite for Travel Show. Cameraman me! Suuubrang kapagod.
*Despedida party on Sunday for my sister. She’s going to Canada…for good. Haay!
*I now have a portable dvd player. Saya!
*Of course, I bought new dvds. Mostly horror. Bwahahaahh!
*Watched ‘My Sassy Girl’. Nice nice! Sobrang enjoy. Hmmm…

hate entry

this is a hate entry to someone in particular. someone older. someone preganant. someone who should start taking stresstabs. ang laki ng eyebags mo!

grrrr! inis na inis ako sa kanya kahapon. i've been ranting about the pressure of our tv prod for the past few weeks. the time to shoot came yesterday. i was not really nervous since i knew we had something good. i knew that at least we were ready and that what we had was something commendable and very entertaining. i was so confident.

during the shoot itself, i was in my element. we had the right ad libs, the right jokes, the right questions to our guests. it was really a smooth flow. i felt that we would get a grade that was deserving of what we had. a high grade. more than what we wanted.

but i guess, i expected too much.

or maybe THAT professor was just out of her mind.

DEFINITELY the latter.

Pen and I were the host and lo and behold, we had the lowest grade out of all the members. 86.

I wasn't expecting the highest grade out of all the members...but to be the lowest?!?

SHIT!

Hindi narin kami qualified for the CATV awards. Parang gago!

Not to be arrogant, but PEN and I carried the show. What irritated me the most was that the professor kept laughing on our jokes. I could even hear her laugh all the way from the booth...and yet she gave us the lowest grade. WALA SIYANG KARAPATANG TUMAWA KUNG BIBIGYAN LANG NIYA KAMI NG MABABANG GRADE. WALA SIYANG KARAPATANG MAG-ENJOY!

Even our blockmates thought that our show was good. What's her fucking problem?!?

Nakakaburat talaga. Inis na inis ako kahapon at pagod na pagod kaya hindi na ko pumasok ng Spanish Class. Natulog lang ako buong magdamag! Haaaay, ayoko na makita pagmumukha niya. Anong gagawin ko?!?

BLINDFOLD!

Random Notes:

*It's August! 22 days to go before my bday.
*I already have my Alicia tickets!
*Fat still.
*Drunk last Wendnesday. this is becoming a habit. haaay!
*Will be interviewed for Dartz' talks show.
*MoA last tuesday. New shirt! YEY!
*Will remain single until further notice.