irita ka, in all fairness to you!

ang ganda-ganda ng araw ko kanina tapos bigla mo nalang sisirain!

kainis!

kung feeling mo ikaw ang tinutukoy ko, edi ikaw nga ito!

matamaan ka sana!

namumuro ka na sakin!

Huwag mo ako kakausapin kung wala kang sasabihing matino!

kapag nakikita kita, dumidilim talaga paningin ko!

palitan mo nga yang mukha mo!

ang pangit!

bili ka ng bago!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!


Random Notes:

*Currently writing Philo Paper.
*Listening to Mariah's new song "Touch My Body" LSS! sobra!
*Fantasizing everything about David Archuleta of American Idol.
*Porn. Kidding!

indie

There a lot of gay independent films coming out (pun intended) and I can’t wait to watch them all. I am so thrilled that a lot of independent films nowadays are gay-themed. It just shows how accepting and tolerating our moviegoers have become. Or is it because a lot of moviegoers are gay themselves? Siguro. Malay ko. The following are the indie films that I watched (all are gay-themed except ENDO and PISAY). I ranked them from my least favorite to the best film.

6. I decided to watch Jun Lana’s 'ROXXXANNE' at Robinson’s Galleria. Its run ended on Tuesday, February 12.



Synopsis from PDI’s website:

Lead actor Jay Aquitania is Marlon, a handsome but closeted gay student who collects cell-phone porn videos to impress his friends—especially pedicab driver, Jonas (Janvier Daily), to whom he’s attracted.

Then, the sexually confused protagonist’s pastime takes a deadly turn: In his search for the ultimate sex video, he consequently ends up creating a scandal involving one of his mother’s boarders, the mysterious Roxanne (Sheree)—that leads to unspeakable tragedy!

Here is a video clip wherein Jonas asks Marlon about his sex life. The latter tries to avoid the question so that Jonas wouldn’t find out about his sexuality and his attraction for him:



My review:

*Great directing from Jun Lana.
*The actors were brilliant.
*Sheree was beautiful in every scene. Ngayon ko lang napansin na maganda pala siya.
*Janvier daily was good considering it was his first time acting.
*Jay Aquitania surprised me the most. He was perfect for the role. His acting was very engaging. You could really relate to his character especially if you’re a closeted gay man. Hindi siya gwapo sa unang tingin pero may appeal naman siya. He carried the film really well as the lead actor.
*I didn’t expect it to be funny. There were some hilarious lines delivered by Elizabeth Oropesa (Jay’s mom).
*There wasn’t any nudity or exposure in the film which was very disappointing. I’m not saying that I watched the movie just for THAT pero manonood ka na nga lang ng R18, sana may pinakita man lang. Kahit boobs man lang ni Sheree wala (hindi ko naman talaga inaabangan ang boobs nya pero wala lang, for exposure’s sake sana).
*Sa UST nag-aaral yung character ni Jay. Sharing.
*The sound wasn’t good. Parang may echo. Ang labo tuloy minsan ng ibang dialogues.
*Sobrang bitin nung film. The last scene shows Janvier whispering something to Jay. Hindi man pinaalam sa audience kung ano yung binulong niya. Nakaka-grrr!

5. Next is ‘ENDO’. I wached it at SM Manila. Nung first showing pa!



The synopsis is from imdb:

Leo's life is a series of terminable contracts. Unable to finish school and forced to be the family breadwinner, he takes on five month service-oriented jobs, one after another. Will his love affair with the spirited dreamer Tanya finally give him a taste of security and permanence?

Here is the trailer:



My review:

*This was very different. Most indie films are slow-paced and dragging but this one had a normal pace. Hindi ka maiinip.
*Ina Feleo stole every scene she was in. Sobrang ganda niya! Simple pero may dating.
*Jason Abalos was perfectly cast as the lead actor. Hindi siya na-stuck sa mediocre acting ng iba niyang Star Circle Quest’s batchmates.
*The ending was satisfying. Tamang-tama lang.
*Simple love story. Extraordinary film.

4. I watched ‘SELDA’ last February 16. It stars Sid Lucero, Emilio Garcia and Ara Mina.



Synopsis from imdb:

Set in two contrasting enivronments that undeline the same premise of imprisonment, Selda tells the story of Rommel (Sid Lucero), a young man who accidentally kills a boy, resulting in his incarceration. Inside the jail, he befriends another inmate, Esteban (Emilio), who becomes his rock and protector. Seven years later, Rommel is living in the province as a farmer together with Sita (Ara Mina) his wife. Esteban tracks down Rommel in hopes of renewing a brewing love affair. Rommel and Sita welcome Esteban into their lives, until their intimacy crosses borderlines and results in the undeniable scourge of self-discovery.

Trailer:



My review:

*Unexpected ending. Nakakagulat! Everyone in the theater gasped at what happened.
*Great Cinematography. Ganda ng kulay. Astig nung ibang mga shots.
*It’s an epic…meaning sobrang haba. 2 hours and 20 minutes. But the thing is, it’s not dragging. I agree though with some of the critics that it’s like two separate movies in one.
*The best performance of Sid Lucero. Ang galing-galing niya talaga!
*Great support from Ara Mina and Emilio Garcia.
*Soliman Cruz had the best lines.
*But then, Allan Paule had the most memorable line: “Lalaki ka, lalaki ako. Nagkatikiman tayo. Ganu’n lang yon.” Nakakatawa pa kasi nakita ko siya the next day. Taga-dito lang ata samin yun eh.
*The sexual abuse scene was heartbreaking. Grabe, nakakaawa si Rommel (Sid).
*Medyo nakulangan ako sa kissing scene ni Sid at Emilio pero na-compensate naman ng butt exposure ni Sid. Ahahaha!
*Andaming nanonood, in fairness!

3. The next film I saw was ‘DAYBREAK’. It had a 2-day initial screening at the UP Cine Adarna last February 13 and 14. I watched this with my very good friend, Margee, who is also a film enthusiast like me. Sobrang saya! The movie will have its regular run at Robinson’s Galleria on February 20-26.



Here is the synopsis from bebsims.wordpress.com:

“DAYBREAK” happens entirely in one place: a rest house in Taal, Batangas and only with two characters. In a single narrative time, intending by way of voyeurism, we discover what happens to two men spending one night contemplating whether to break up or continue their relationship. William and JP allow us to know their biggest lies and the biggest truths… two people loving each other, clinging to each other, betraying each other — trying the fragility of their feelings in only one night.

Memories and dreams, truths and lies, fears and desires, betrayal and honesty, love and hate are all closely entwined in this night.

Behind the veil of words, they are drawn to each other but will the light of the sunrise bring this intimacy to an end?

Here is the full trailer:




My review:

*I’m a bit biased with this review. Alam ko na kasi na magugustuhan ko itong film kahit hindi ko pa napapanood. Sobrang ganda kasi ng story at trailer pa lang, alam ko nang maganda. I was so excited to watch it.
*Hindi ko nasimulan kaya baka panoorin ko ito ulit sa Galleria.
*I loved it so much. It was all I expected and more. (I know Margee will disagree with me on this).
*I really like the acting (Margee disagrees once again). I like the way they looked at each other. Sobrang sincere at intense.
*I love the ‘lovemaking scenes’. Passionate talaga lalo na yung mga make-out parts. Gigil na gigil sila. Grabe, parang duduguin yung mga labi! You would really believe that they were lovers. I also got to see Coco’s and Paolo’s butts. I liked Coco’s better, they were perky. Ahahah!
*The cinematography was very commendable. Tagaytay never looked this good!
*The music was catchy especially the song played while the two guys were slow dancing.
*Astig pa kasi yung credits pinakita sa kalagitnaan nung film.
*The only bad thing about this movie is that it’s too short. One hour lang ata. Nakakabitin! I wanted more.
*I saw the director himself, Adolf Alix, Jr. pero medyo nahiya ako magpa-picture. Ini-interview pa kasi siya eh.

2. I watched ‘ANG LIHIM NI ANTONIO’ at Robinson’s Galleria. As usual! Gusto ko talaga ‘to panoorin kasi friend ni Cookai ang bida dito, si Kenji Garcia.



Synopsis:

Antonio (Kenji Garcia) is a curious fifteen-year-old boy who is beginning to come to terms with his own sexuality. Although his straight best friend, Mike (Jiro Manio), has been supportive of his coming out, his first sexual conquest has led to the destruction of his friendship with his other best buddy, Nathan.
Antonio’s exploration of his identity unfolds as his family begins to break up. His altruistic mother, Tere (Shamaine Buencamino) is in complete denial that his father has already abandoned them.
A shocking tragedy begins to spiral up as Antonio meets his hedonistic uncle Jonbert (Josh Ivan Morales), who becomes the boy’s sexual obsession.

Trailer:


My review:
*Sa una talaga, feeling ko walang kwenta yung film. Baka kasi another gay and daring film lang ito na in-exploit lamang ang mga actors. Pero hindi.
*Sensible storyline. Maganda ang pag-weave ng plot.
*Shamaine Buencamino was perfect as the mother especially the last scene wherein Kenji helped her to take a bath.
*Jiro Manio was the comic relief. Pwede pala siya mag-comedy. Josh Ivan Morales was also good as the abusive uncle.
*Pero ang pinakamagaling talaga sa lahat ay si Kenji. Hindi ako biased dito. Talagang magaling siya. Sobrang natural yung acting niya lalo na dun sa last dining room scene with his uncle. Nakakaawa siya! Ramdam na ramdam ko yung sakit. Huhuhu!
*Magulo nga lang yung camera. Mostly handheld kaya medyo lumilingon ako sa ibang lugar kasi nakakahilo.
*Tama lang yung sex scenes. May frontal sina Kenji at Josh pero hindi naman bastos yung kinalabasan.
*Mas maraming nanood nito kaysa sa 'Selda'. Puno ang theater.

1. Last but not the least is ‘PISAY’.



Synopsis:

‘Pisay’ relates the stories of eight Philippine Science High School (PSHS) students during the volatile 1980s when the Philippines was in its greatest moment in history- as the Marcos Dictatorship is ousted by the 1986 People Power Revolution to Cory Aquino's New Government- as they come of age in a time filled with excitement, conflict and change.

Trailer:



My review:

*One of the best indie films I’ve ever seen.
*Lahat ng actors especially the young ones were magnificent.
*Eugene Domingo gave the best performance especially the part when she was reminiscing the brutality of Martial Law.
*Astig ng costumes! Pang-80’s talaga.
*Andamig funny parts! Lalo na kapag nagre-report sila. Sobrang career! With matching props pa!
*I don’t cry watching movies but this one nearly made me.
*The best part was the graduation scene. Huhuhu!
*Bittersweet ending.
*Showing pa ito guys sa ibang sm cinemas. Panoorin niyo!

Random Notes:

*Nakakalungkot nga lang kasi yung mga gay films dito puro sad ending. Don’t we deserve to have a happy one for once?!?
*Instructional vid today. Good Luck!
*Member na ko ng Video City. Ahahah! Fonny.
*Please watch ‘Daybreak’ and ‘Ang Lihim ni Antonio’ at Robinson’s Galleria. Showing pa hanggang Tuesday! Pati yung 'Pisay' sa ibang SM Cinemas naman.
*Lapit na bakasyon! Wuhooo! Dami nga lang school work.
*Kelangan bumawi sa Philo. Waaaaah!

God talk

I am not religious. I have never been. One of my earliest childhood memories is playing inside the church, not listening to a word the priest was saying. Ironically, I still do the same thing except the playing part. I guess it’s the routine that bores me the most: the standing, sitting, singing melancholic tunes as if somebody died a painful death. Most of the time, I hear the same sermon from the priest: Love your neighbors, parents, etc. I really don’t like routines—doing the same damn thing over and over again. I don’t like plans. I love spontaneity, I’m impulsive. I like doing things at a moment when I least expect to do it.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I love God. The fact is, I have a relationship with God. I always pray to Him especially when I need the guidance. I always thank Him for the blessings He gives me. I always think of Him whenever something good happens in my life. I know that everything in my life is a gift from God. Sometimes I feel that I am so much blessed that I don’t even know what I did to deserve all of it. Whenever something bad happens to me, I also know that it is a test given to me by God. I know that a lesson is learned in every trial that comes my way.

I believe in heaven. I guess it’s my fear of death talking. I want to be assured that I will go somewhere peaceful when I die.

I don’t believe that there is a judgment day. I think that no matter how grave your sins on earth were, as long as you repent, you will go to heaven. As far as I know, God forgives.

I don’t believe everything in the Bible. Historians found a lot of loopholes in some stories in the Bible. We can never really make sure that everything started as it had been written in Genesis. Is there really Adam and Eve? I have no idea, though I am still not eliminating the fact that it might be true. Who am I to say anyway? A professor once said that it is written in the Bible (I don’t know where specifically) that homosexuality is a sin. I am a sinner, I admit. All of us are. But you can never persuade me to believe all of the things in the Bible if in fact, it states that my way of life is a sin.

I will never be religious. I am Catholic, not by choice but by birth. Once I emancipate from my parents’ grip, I will do my own thing. I only go to church because my mom wants me to. I stare into nothingness once the mass starts. I think of my friends, my crushes, etc. I can’t help but get bored. Personally, it’s better not to have a certain religion Most of the time, it even hinders you to have a relationship with God because of all the rules the religious leaders make.

At night, I have my God-time. I pray as long as I want. Sometimes, it takes me thirty minutes to an hour talking to Him. It’s nice to have someone to share your problems with, someone who will not judge you or think of you badly. As long as you do good things and as long as you don’t hurt anybody, you’re okay.

Anything goes when I talk to God. I ask Him for things that I want, may it be material or immaterial. Kris Aquino (eek!) once said in an interview, “Never Limit God’s Generosity.” What she said is definitely true. Don’t be afraid to ask something from God. Ask a lot. You never know what he’s going to fulfill.

I also tell God my secrets, my problems, my insecurities and even my sexual fantasies. He understands me like no one can. My God loves me for who I am. He doesn’t care that I am gay. He even loves me for it. He made me the way I am. He made me in His own image.

I know that a lot of people will disagree with some of my statements. This is just my opinion. This is what I believe in. Just like what they say, to each his own.

Now I rest. Haaay!


Random Notes:

*Amy Winehouse grabbed most of the Grammys last Monday. Her performance was incredible! LSS na ako sa “Rehab”
*The Hollywood Writer’s Strike is finally over. New episodes from Grey’s Anatomy will air on April.
*I want classic iPod. Kahit 2nd hand okay lang. Sino pwedeng benefactor dyan? Hahaha!
*I finally reached my 1,000th hit on this site. Yey!
*Valentine’s Day is also over. Wuhoo! Sorry, single eh.

someone

I know I was a ‘downer’ last week. I’m okay now. Fine. Now that it is done, I’m starting to feel again the February vibe: the Valentine’s vibe! I don’t have anyone. Ha! Shocker! I have always waited and I know that everyone says that the time will come eventually. I know it will come. I believe it will come. I hope that it will come. Oo na! Cheesy na ako…hopeless romantic. Lahat na! I always wonder and fantasize what it would be like to have that special person in your life, to have that SOMEONE...


Someone who would put his arms around me at night.

Someone who would not go to school to take care of me because I’m sick.

Someone who would surprise me with a book I’ve been looking for a long time, proclaiming he bought it at an expensive price, later confessing that he just found it in Booksale.

Someone who would make sure that I went home safely.

Someone who would ask me if everything’s alright.

Someone who would watch indie films with me at rob galle and say that he never understood what the story was about.

Someone who would give me a shirt as a gift because he knows how much I hate shopping.

Someone who would quit smoking and drinking because I told him to.

Someone who would still have time for his own family and friends.

Someone who would work hard to get ahead on his chosen career.

Someone who would watch chick flicks with me and say that it was better than the indie film we saw.

Someone who would tell me that I need to take a bath because I stink.

Someone who would fart and deny that it was him.

Someone who would offer me the last bite of his yumburger with tlc.

Someone who would tell me that I look better than the guys we would pass by in the mall.

Someone who would hold my hand in public and not care what other people think.

Someone who would constantly deny that he likes Mariah Carey but knows by heart the lyrics of Fantasy, Dreamlover, Always Be My Baby, Honey, Heartbreaker and We Belong Together.

Someone who would hug me so tight like he wouldn’t want me to let go.

Someone who would give me a soft and quick kiss like we were doing it and would do it for the rest of our lives.

Someone who would get along and joke around with my friends.

Someone who would write sweet notes and slip it inside my books.

Someone who I would argue with over petty things and say our sorries afterwards.

Someone who would sit with me in silence, no words needed, just enjoying the fact that we’re together.

Someone who would cook for me the best spaghetti in the world.

Someone who would laugh at himself because of an embarrassing moment he had.

Someone who would make me feel safe in his company.

Someone who would never cease to amaze me.

Someone who would still force a smile even at the most miserable moment of his life.

Someone who would watch all the episodes of Grey’s Anatomy just because I keep talking about it.

Someone who would introduce me to everyone as his lover, partner and friend.

Someone who would say that my joke is ‘corny’ but laughs incessantly.

Someone who would tell me that I’m getting skinnier even if the truth is that I am really gaining weight.

Someone who would rather spend his time with me than go to Boracay with his colleagues.

Someone who would wake me up in the morning so that I wouldn’t be late for class.

Someone who would say ‘I love you’ in the middle of the day for no apparent reason.

Someone who would text me and ask if I already ate and if I hadn’t, he would look for me with a take-out from Jollibee.

Someone who would say that he loves me whenever I feel like the biggest loser in the world.

Someone who would wipe my sweat because I perspire profusely.

Someone who would dance with me even if he has two left feet.

Someone who would sing for me even if he doesn’t know how to carry a tune.

Someone who would look at me intently and smile.

Someone who would love me for who I am, what I do and what I believe in.

Someone who would spend the rest of his life with me.


Random Notes:

*Ang cheesy talaga! Sorry.
*My hair’s growing out. It’s starting to scare me.
*I’ve been reading a lot of books lately. Kinda weird. I’m beginning to read at least one book every week.
*Finished ‘The Virgin Suicides’. After reading the book, I went to Quiapo right away to buy the dvd. Ang hirap hanapin! I got one after several minutes of roaming around.
*AB Week. Di ako apektado.
*Belated Happy Birthday Ma'am Cely!!! Ayan ha, BINATI ko na si ma'am.

outburst

WARNING: The following blog entry that you are about to read is very negative, depressing, full of irritable and pessimistic statements from the writer against himself. To further feel his sentiments, just imagine him shouting all the words to you with so much anger and annoyance.


-*-*Naiinis talaga ako sa sarili ko. There were a lot of things that happened these past few days which lead to this outburst. I salute Celine for saying how she felt last Theology class. Minsan mapupuno ka nalang talaga at ang sarap ng pakiramdam na ipagsigawan sa mga tao ang totoong nararamdaman mo. Naguguluhan lang ako. Naiinis ako kasi ang feeler ko. Kahit hindi naman tungkol sa akin, feeling ko tungkol parin sa akin. At ang totoo, hindi naman talaga nila ako pinapansin or kilala man lang. Kapag may dumadaan, feeling ko ako yung tinitingnan. Dur! As if! Hindi naman ako gwapo para mag-feeling!

Ang yabang yabang ko pa! Kahit wala naman dapat ipagmalaki tungkol sakin, nagyayabang parin ako. Never ako naging humble at naiinis ako dahil dun. Feeling ko tuloy ang dami nang naasar sakin. Pakunwari pa! Wala naman talagang dapat ipagmalaki. Lahat naman ng tao nagagawa yun. Hindi ako special. I am definitely no one but I am acting like I’m this Supreme Being who knows everything. Madalas ako manliit ng tao. Pakiramdam ko, alam ko ang lahat. Pakiramdam ko mas marami akong alam at mas nakakataas ako sa ibang tao. Nakakapanggigil talaga.

Impulsive pa ako. Naging kumplikado tuloy ‘tong pag-aaral ko dahil diyan!

Pasikat ako. Naiinis ako kasi hindi ko mapigilan na bigla na lang ako magpapapansin. Biglang lalakasan yung boses, magjo-joke na hindi naman dapat. Grrr talaga! Hindi ko pa matikom ang bibig ko. I just don’t know how to censor myself. Kahit anong biglang sumagi sa isip ko, sinasabi ko without even knowing if I would hurt someone. I don’t want to be this insensitive person that I am turning into!

Naiinis pa ko dahil sobrang mainipin ako. Sobrang masungit! Ibang-iba ako sa school at sa bahay. Kung nasusungitan kayo sa akin minsan sa school, lalong napakasungit ko sa bahay. Kapag umuuwi kasi, gusto ko magpahinga nalang. Naiinis ako sa mga tao dito sa bahay kasi ang iingay nila! Wala ka pang privacy dahil tatlo lang ang kwarto para sa walong tao na tumitira dito. I never had my own room kaya bad trip talaga ako lagi. Kaya gusto ko narin mag-apartment! Lagi kong sinusungit ang mga tao dito sa bahay. Ang ayoko pa ay kapag nanonood ako ng tv, gusto ko tahimik, as in walang nagsasalita. Nanonood ako ng tv para maiintindihan yun mga sinasabi ng mga tao, paano ako makaka-concentrate kung ang iingay ng mga tao dito?!?!!?!? Naiinis ako pero mas naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil ganito nga ako umarte.

Siguro hindi niyo ito napapansin sa akin pero ito ang napansin ko sa sarili ko. Sobrang gigil na gigil na talaga ako. Hindi ko gusto ang ako na nakikita ko sa salamin. I am not the person that I wanted to be. Minsan gusto ko nalang barilin ang sarili ko. Don’t worry. I’m just exaggerating. Hindi ako suicidal…when I say it’s over. I’m way too cool for you boy, that’s why it’ll never work.



Random Notes:

*I’m really sorry if the thoughts on this blog entry are not coherent. I just want to use this blog as an outlet for what I am feeling right now.
*It’s February. There’s nothing to be excited about. As if I have a Valentine!
*Finished ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’. Sobrang sweet. Imagine waiting for your one true love for fifty years, nine months and four days!!!
*I’m starting to read ‘The Joy Luck Club’
*I finally have a copy of ‘The Adventures of Mimi’. Pirated nga lang, pero okay na. Si Mariah Carey parin yun! At yung supposed-to-be 2 disc ng orig ay nasa 1 disc lang sa pirata. Sosyalan!
*Watched ‘Juno’ and ‘No Country for Old Men’ on dvd. I liked Juno better. Siguro dahil hindi ko naintindihan masyado yung No Country. Ahahaha! Ang gulo pa ng ending. I enjoyed Juno because it’s an independent film. Ayoko ng sobrang commercialized. Puro form lang, walang substance. Hehe! Juno is light but still a very smart comedy. Hafta watch ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ again, just for the nostalgia.
*Watched ’27 dresses’ alone last Wednesday. Although cheesy, predictable and definitely formulaic, it’s still a feel-good movie. Don’t expect a deep and mind-boggling experience. Just enjoy it!
*My first month of blogging was great. Thank You for all those people who keep reading my entries…kahit alam kong napilitan lang kayo. Hoy mag-comment ka!