God talk

I am not religious. I have never been. One of my earliest childhood memories is playing inside the church, not listening to a word the priest was saying. Ironically, I still do the same thing except the playing part. I guess it’s the routine that bores me the most: the standing, sitting, singing melancholic tunes as if somebody died a painful death. Most of the time, I hear the same sermon from the priest: Love your neighbors, parents, etc. I really don’t like routines—doing the same damn thing over and over again. I don’t like plans. I love spontaneity, I’m impulsive. I like doing things at a moment when I least expect to do it.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I love God. The fact is, I have a relationship with God. I always pray to Him especially when I need the guidance. I always thank Him for the blessings He gives me. I always think of Him whenever something good happens in my life. I know that everything in my life is a gift from God. Sometimes I feel that I am so much blessed that I don’t even know what I did to deserve all of it. Whenever something bad happens to me, I also know that it is a test given to me by God. I know that a lesson is learned in every trial that comes my way.

I believe in heaven. I guess it’s my fear of death talking. I want to be assured that I will go somewhere peaceful when I die.

I don’t believe that there is a judgment day. I think that no matter how grave your sins on earth were, as long as you repent, you will go to heaven. As far as I know, God forgives.

I don’t believe everything in the Bible. Historians found a lot of loopholes in some stories in the Bible. We can never really make sure that everything started as it had been written in Genesis. Is there really Adam and Eve? I have no idea, though I am still not eliminating the fact that it might be true. Who am I to say anyway? A professor once said that it is written in the Bible (I don’t know where specifically) that homosexuality is a sin. I am a sinner, I admit. All of us are. But you can never persuade me to believe all of the things in the Bible if in fact, it states that my way of life is a sin.

I will never be religious. I am Catholic, not by choice but by birth. Once I emancipate from my parents’ grip, I will do my own thing. I only go to church because my mom wants me to. I stare into nothingness once the mass starts. I think of my friends, my crushes, etc. I can’t help but get bored. Personally, it’s better not to have a certain religion Most of the time, it even hinders you to have a relationship with God because of all the rules the religious leaders make.

At night, I have my God-time. I pray as long as I want. Sometimes, it takes me thirty minutes to an hour talking to Him. It’s nice to have someone to share your problems with, someone who will not judge you or think of you badly. As long as you do good things and as long as you don’t hurt anybody, you’re okay.

Anything goes when I talk to God. I ask Him for things that I want, may it be material or immaterial. Kris Aquino (eek!) once said in an interview, “Never Limit God’s Generosity.” What she said is definitely true. Don’t be afraid to ask something from God. Ask a lot. You never know what he’s going to fulfill.

I also tell God my secrets, my problems, my insecurities and even my sexual fantasies. He understands me like no one can. My God loves me for who I am. He doesn’t care that I am gay. He even loves me for it. He made me the way I am. He made me in His own image.

I know that a lot of people will disagree with some of my statements. This is just my opinion. This is what I believe in. Just like what they say, to each his own.

Now I rest. Haaay!


Random Notes:

*Amy Winehouse grabbed most of the Grammys last Monday. Her performance was incredible! LSS na ako sa “Rehab”
*The Hollywood Writer’s Strike is finally over. New episodes from Grey’s Anatomy will air on April.
*I want classic iPod. Kahit 2nd hand okay lang. Sino pwedeng benefactor dyan? Hahaha!
*I finally reached my 1,000th hit on this site. Yey!
*Valentine’s Day is also over. Wuhoo! Sorry, single eh.