Long time no see. It was a year ago when I last wrote an entry for this blog. I have been thinking of going back here and writing shit again for several months. And now the time has come. What's new? Nothing. Well that's not entirely true. Of course, something happened. I wasn't in a coma for the past year and suddenly woke up at the end of 2011.
Where to start though?
January, I worked in Convergys.
February, I had surgery because of gallstones.
March, I'm jobless. marched for graduation
April, Summer--went nowhere.
May, started working out again.
June, applied for a job in Teleperformance
July, started the call center work...again.
August, birthday--went nowhere
September, still working
October, still working
November, resigned at call center job
December, still living it.
So the significant part of the year consists of my surgery and working at 2 call centers. Both events I don't want to happen again. I'm done with call centers. It fucked up my body clock.
I wouldn't say 2011 was all bad. I got to meet a lot of people--friends. I don't regret the relationships I've made with these people. I will never forget them.
And why am I writing this now? The year ending always gets to me. I feel nostalgic every time. And I really have to brush up my writing skills. I am writing a one-act play so I can submit it by the first quarter of next year for a contest. Keep your fingers crossed. I hope I win this one. I really believe in the story and it has been boiling in my mind for a long time.
I hope to regularly write in this blog. Twitter is already killing me. I want paragraphssss!
Been A While...
The People Person
I just resigned from my first real job after one week. I can't believe I just quit from something. I always say "I did not quit smoking, I will not quit this". I feel like such a failure. Although I feel that I cannot spend another day in that fucking office.
I was an administrative assistant at Saga Events Inc. aka I was the "utusan" of everyone. I set up meetings, I answer the fucking phone (which I hate doing even at home!), I print documents, I walk around back and forth to everyone and do chores they wouldn't want to do. It was like I was having my OJT again, full-time this time. Although I felt that since it was my first job, I had to start at the bottom of the food chain. I had to struggle. But the thing is, I knew I was smarter that the things I was doing.
That's another problem really. I think so highly of myself that I thought job offers would come piling up once I graduated from college. Well, it didn't. Saga was the first company that offered so I grabbed it right away. Without even a month after graduating, I was working my fucking ass off as the caretaker of every employee who were doing REAL JOBS. I wasn't expecting to be the fucking boss, but I felt that I was capable of doing something more.
I also thought that I was people person, but I am not. I wanted to think that I was tolerant enough of other people's deviant behavior and quirks. The people in the company were social climbers to say the least. Most of them were graduates of UST and I thought right away that I could blend in with my ka-jologsan and shit. It turned out most of them were like Gossip Girl characters come to life. And the fact is, I hate Gossip Girl. There was not an ounce of any Thomasian Value in any of these people. Don't get we wrong though, they were nice and all. I just could not identify with any of them.
I guess Events is not really for me. You have to climb the social ladder to succeed in the industry. And I'm not that kind of person. I want to think that I'm a simple person with simple dreams.
I also realized that it is important for me to get a job where I get along with my co-workers. Even if a job is shitty, the bond you form with your colleagues make you want to get up early in the morning every single day.
I was super depressed with my job the last week that I started eating my feelings. I feel like I gained weight already. It sucks.
The thing that I will take out of this experience is the fact that I have to really think about what I want to do in my life. Weigh every possibility while there is still time. I will let this year pass and hopefully I have made my decision by then.
Babalik ka rin.
Yehey bago na layout ng blog ko! Dapat talaga gagawa ako ng bagong blog sa wordpress kaso naisip ko na balikan ito dahil dito nagsimula ang lahat para sa akin. Hindi ito ang una kong blog. Siguro pang-lima ko na yata ito. Ayoko nang lumipat sa bago, tapos titigil lang din ako ulit.
Ganito nga din kasi ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Kahit anong gawin ko sa buhay at kahit saan man ako magpunta, babalik at babalik parin ako sa pagsusulat. Ito ang nagsisilbing outlet ko sa bawat nararamdaman sa kasalakuyan.
Hindi madali para sa akin ang pagsusulat. Madalas ay ipinagliliban ko ito. Magsusurf sa internet, mafefacebook, twitter. Pag dinatnan na ko ng antok, matutulog na at ipapangakong kinabukasan nalang ako magsusulat. Pero sadly, umuulit lang ang ginagawa ko. Hindi na naman ako magsusulat. Sakit ko na yan matagal na.
Ngayon ay maraming nakapilang istorya na dapat isulat. Dalawa para sa Palanca at isa para sa scriptwriting contest ng Film Development Counil of the Philippines (FDCP). Oo, sasali na naman ako! Dati ayokong sinasabi na sasali ako sa kahit anong contest dahil baka lamang ma-jinx ito. At takot ang isipin ng mga tao na umaasa lang ako o kaya nagyayabang na baka manalo. Ngayon ay wala na akong pakialam. Sasalihan ko kung ano man ang gusto ko at bahala na ang Diyos kung ano ang kahihitnatnan ng mga ito.
Tatlong kwento sa aking isipan: dulang may isang yugto at dalawang dulang pampelikula. Wala pa akong nasisimulan kahit isa. Tamo, inuna ko pa ang pagba-blog kaysa doon. April 30 ang deadline para sa Palanca at sa May naman ang FDCP. Dati na akong sumali sa Palanca. Dalawang categories din ang ipinasok ko. Talo pareho!
Ganunpaman, hindi ako nadi-discourage sa pagiging talunan. Para sa akin ay sa mga talong gawa ako natututo. Ang importante ay ang hindi sumuko. Sulat lang ng sulat. Sali lang ng sali. Malay mo makatsamba.
Kapag tinatanong ako kung masarap ba ang magsulat, lagi kong sagot ay hindi. Masarap ang NAKAPAGSULAT NA. Napakamadugo ng proseso ng pagsusulat. Kung minsan ay para bang nababaliw na ako. Nagiging autistic. Kadalasan masungit. Parang nireregla. Hindi mo ako makakausap ng matino kapag nagsusulat dahil ang atensyon ko ay nasa mga karakter na aking binubuo at storyline na pilit kong itinatahi hanggang sa ending.
Ang masarap nga ay ang nakapagsulat na. Kapag tapos na ang kwento at handa nang ipabasa sa mundo. Para akong nag-labor ng ilang buwan at ang tunog ng printer ang nagsisilbing pag-iri habang lumalabas ang final draft na itinuturing kong aking baby.
Hindi ko alam kung ito na talaga ang aking magiging hanapbuhay. Hindi ko din alam kung magiging successful ako sa aking tinatahak na landas. At lalong hindi ko alam kung ilang contest pa ang aking sasalihan, manalo man o matalo. Ang sigurado ay habambuhay akong magsusulat. Malamang ay titigil ako pansamantala, buwan o taon man. Pero alam ko na babalikan ko ito. Magsusulat akong muli. Ito lang ang alam kong gawin. Dito ako masaya. Dito ko nahahanap ang sarili ko.
